Archive for June, 2010

Dancing Like Nobody’s Watching

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

Dancing Like Nobody‘s Watching

Balinese Girls DancingI love to dance. I mean, who doesn‘t? It‘s such a great way of releasing energy but getting filled with new energy. It‘s a way of expressing emotions and getting filled with emotions. It‘s an art form and exercise at the same time.

It always amazes me how shy some people are to dance in front of others or even in groups of people who are all dancing and having fun. Why is it ok to run in front of other people, but not to dance in front of them? Running and dancing are both a type of movement. Is it because people are afraid they might be „bad“ dancers? What defines a bad dancer? Someone who can‘t hold a beat? Someone who has a hard time controlling his limbs? Let‘s face it, most people are amateur dancers with no professional training of any kind. So we have a good excuse to be „bad“ at it. And why do we have to dance to someone elses beat anyway? Just dance to your own beat and the hell with the rest of them. It‘s your body, your movement and your flow, so don‘t let anyone else tell you what to do with it!

Dancing the Stress Away
Sometimes when my son and I come home after a long day at school or work, we blast the stereo and start busting the groove like there is no tomorrow. It‘s a great way of releasing the afternoon tension and gives you energy to finish the few hours that are left of the day with a smile. I suggest you try it today when you get home from work. And let your kids participate. They might learn some old school dance steps and who knows, you might learn something from them. Plus, it‘s fun and won‘t cost you a dime. Just make sure you let go of your inhibitions and do it like nobody‘s watching. It just makes it more fun. Don‘t you agree?

Thorunn

photo credit: ^riza^

Empowering Kids to Nurture Their Talents

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010

happy girl

My son recently turned six and is starting school next fall. After visiting his school and talking to other parents about their kids schools, I have formed a strong opinion about the school system.

The Production of Workers

Today’s school system is built on the old idea that you need to program kids to become teachers, lawyers, doctors, etc. They need to be good in math, grammar, history, etc., and if they aren’t, they need to get better at it. Otherwise, they might not get a good job when they grow up. In other words, our school system is producing workers for the society. But if you think about it, paying a tutor to teach someone something he has no interest in is like throwing money down the drain.

Think about it. From the age of 6 (or younger in some countries) we are forced to study what some grown up we don’t even know decided would be best for us to study without consulting with us. And if we follow the curriculum with great care, we are putting our future into the hands of a selected few who have no concern of how our lives will turn out, as long as we get a “good job.”

I almost went down this “get a good job” path once. When I was studying business at Reykjavik University back in 2006, I saw a trend in the society that all the best jobs were in banking and that was the best future for someone with a business degree. So I decided to major in finances. But after thinking it through for a few days I realized how stupid it would be to major in something I had absolutely no interest in and would lead me down a boring and miserable life path. So I decided to major in nothing, but instead take all the selectiver coursed I was interested in. Study what I thought would be interesting, and most of all, fun! But I was already a grown up when I made this decision and had the power to make it. Imagine being 9 years old, wanting nothing more than becoming a graphic designer, but being forced to take extra classes in grammar becuase you are dislexis or just plain bad in grammar? And you can’t do anything about it!

Embracing Diversity

Why doesn’t the school system welcome diversity instead of demanding homogeneity? Why do we all have to fit the same mold? Imagine how the world would be if Einstein had decided to fit the mold instead of pursuing his ideas?

Kids are born with the amazing ability to believe that anything is possible. They get tons of ideas every day, some of them crazy (good?), others less crazy. The other day my son figured out that he was the best Lego builder in the history of man kind and that if he would make his own Lego design and box it up, someone would be willing to buy it. First he wanted to take it to the local supermarket and sell it there. But then he realized that it might get lost in the crowd of branded toys, so he opted to turn our apartment into a store for one day. But if he did that, he would need to have more than one product to sell. So he decided to take his big Lego box, sort out all the yellow heads without bodies he had, put them in small boxes and sell in bulk. He still hasn’t finished planning the store opening, but after the store closes, he’s going to change our apartment into a theater and stage a comedy that guests will be able to see for a minimal entrance fee. He’s only 6. Imagine where he will be in a few years if I continue letting him pursue his ideas and not demand he gets better at something he has no interest in anyway.

What we should do is embrace each child’s talent. If he’s good at drawing and bad in math, instead of hiring a math tutor, we should let him attend a drawing class. Let him get better at something he’s already good at and has desire, ambition and will to work hard at doing. We need to stop producing workers and start empowering kids to nurture their talents and follow their dreams. Don’t you think it would make the world a better and happier place to live in?

Thorunn

photo credit: Pink Sherbet

Boxing Up Babies – Methods Destroying Tomorrows Society?

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010

Happy Kid PlayingMy younger son turned 6 a few months ago. He takes after his parents and is a bit rough around the edges and not easely boxable. He loves to challenge him self and others, change the rules and experience life. Because of all this he has gotten extra attention this winter from school staff and us the parents and it seems to have done the trick! He has become more aware of the rules and how children “should” behave.

But is it the best thing for him?
Who is he and what can he be?
I have noticed through all this that he has become too aware of him self and now I am picking up the pieces of his broken self image. It got me thinking. Why the hell do we do this?
I have been trying to do this as well as possible. With the school and with focused attention. granny-days, Mommy-days and creative activities. Most of it helped but the aim was to what? Change him to something he is not? Make him a better version of himself? Do we know who he is?

The school has talked about ADHD but he has always scored just belove the line that makes a kid “abnormal”. When you think about it you realize that ADHD is not an actual state in the same sense as being bald or having 6 fingers. It is a bunch of behavioral characteristics used to define a group of people that use up more space than the rest. Someone made it up!

I know that ADHD is a real problem for parents and I am not saying that it is not. But I am wondering about the methods we use to deal with it. What happens for example if we raise a whole generation of children where space consuming behavior is erased? We are raising the first medicated generation now. Will it better our society? Who will challenge the way that the rest of us think? Who will come up with all of the new ideas?

One of our strongest need is to belong. I was an active and attention seeking child and I completely lost myself on my quest to belong. It might not have bad intentions to ask a child to stop talking, move away from the TV (when dancing in front of it) or relax but it all has the same message. You do not belong here! It is a bit devastating when you cant help your self. Make a thing out of it. Debate night! Dance shows in the living room! Or better yet complement and encourage your child to create and express it self!! Empower their voice. They matter and they have the power to change an rethink when others do not.

I am not saying that my methods are the best. I am still learning and I hope that I can share new experiences and findings as they come.

For us sleeping habits are most important. Less sleep will result in more disruption and challenging behavior. It is not a good feeling for him. He is also happy when he can have some control over what he can do and the freedom to do it. His independence is his “drug of choice”. For that we are lucky to live in Reykjavik where he is able to explore and play more freely than he would in larger communities. But we need to find that balance between independence and rules. The trust has to be there and the line that he can not cross.

My son has amazing talents that exceed his age group and flaws where other kids exceed him. His physical abilities are unbelievable but normal for someone that trains as hard as he does playing. He is very creative and wonders a lot about people. He is very curious and constantly seeking knowledge and asking questions. He was “mouse-able” around 3 and has known his way around the internet for a few years. He follows his will without hesitation and always has. He is completely independent.
But he has great difficulties standing in line!

My wish for him is that he finds a way to coexist with other people better. He has a lot of love and would never hurt anyone intentionally. He has the purest heart I know. I hope that I can help him find his passion where all his great abilities are useful.

I went to listen to Dalai Lama talk when he came to Reykjavik and the most interesting message from him was that you can never give children too much love. And it is not about things and giving them all the control. It is about excepting them as they are and water them like plants so they can reach their potential. They all have that special thing.

What are your thoughts on this subject?

Hulda

(photo credit: Yogendra174)